Peagle's "Shut Up, He's On The Mic" List

Peagle's “Shut Up, He's on the Mic” List 

Now in my first post, I alluded to this list. These are some of my favorite mic workers in the WWE (Kinda) and one of my favorite moments for each of them. 

  

Honorable Mention: C.M. Punk

The reason for that “kinda” up there. Yeah he's not here any more, and he likely isn't gonna come back, but you a damn a liar if you say his 2011 run on the mic was anything other than legendary. He made everyone he stepped in the building with look like a fool and as much as it hurts me to admit this, he absolutely washed the next guy on my list. And yes, I had to post this ENTIRE part because it was just that damn good.. 

  

Favorite Moment: "Unlike a lot of people I'm glad you're back. I don't care what your schedule is. I don't care if you work here 16 days a year or 365 days a year. You could be Santa Clause and have his schedule, one day a year. I'd still kick your ass. I don't care how many movies you film every year. I know how hard that schedule probably is, but every time you come back, whenever you decide to grace us with your presence, I'm gonna kick your ass. Because this isn't candy land. I'm like nobody you've ever faced before. You can make fun of the color of my t-shirt and you can talk about pie and you can sing songs and you can rhyme and you can do your tired, lame-ass schtick. I just want you to know that come Royal Rumble, and you have about three weeks to realize this, I'm gonna kick your ass 'cause I'm the best in the world. I'm the best thing going today. I'm the best guy you've ever stepped foot in the ring with. And you need to understand, congratulations, Rock, you just graduated from the kiddie table, but you just bit off more than you can chew. You're playing little league with your little insults and your rhymes and your 'millions and millions' and your 'finallys'. And I'm in the big leagues and I'm swinging for the fence. You need to understand that your little jabs and your insults, it's all kiddie games. You can't leave a mark on the champ's face. Come Royal Rumble, understand, when you step in the ring, your arms are just too short to box with God." 

5. The Rock-

I've made no secret that The Rock is my favorite wrestler, but i'm not putting him at the top because of his super part-time status and Punk made him look silly....What in the blue hell is a “cookiepuss” Dwayne?? At any rate, his feud with Cena showed he still had it, the Boston Tea Party and History lesson segments were hilarious and his intensity on the mic in that feud was great. Not to mention the years of quotables he gave us during his run in the Attitude Era. So yeah, Rocky comes back, you know your role and shut your mouth.. The Great One is on the mic. 

Favorite Moment: “Smell..what Y2J is cooking? You ask The Rock to smell what you're cooking? Well let's just say for argument's sake that The Rock does indeed smell what you're cooking, 'cause The Rock will try anything one time. So here goes..*smells* Ahh yes there it is...indeed The Rock does smell what you're cooking. And quite frankly Chris Jericho, what you're cooking smells like 100 percent, Grade-A, Money Back Guarantee, ONE BIG BUCKET OF CANADIAN MOOSE PISS!!”

4. Bray Wyatt

I'll freely admit, sometimes Wyatt can go a little long with his promos, but his delivery and intensity make up for it. I'm always here for a Wyatt promo. Everything about the way he speaks fits his character and quite honestly, it would be weird if he DIDN'T speak in riddles. His mic work against John Cena was great, I want to see him expand the content for other feuds but when I hear that scream and the screen blacks out, I'm all in. 

Favorite Moment: “John, let me lay it out for you...If you look up at me, you will see a friend, if you look down on me you will see an enemy, and if you look me square in the eye, you will see a god.”  

3. Chris Jericho

Y2J, yeah he's part-time too, but when he's there..he's there for the whole run. he can do silly, (Fandango) he can do serious, (Punk/Wyatt) but whatever he decides to do, he's damn good at it. Jericho's greatest attribute is his constant willingness to do something different, as was the case with Bray Wyatt. He had him call the “Talk Is Jericho” podcast and they both went back and forth for a few minutes before Wyatt abruptly hung up, it was awesome and truly a credit to Y2J's mind for the business. Even more impressive is the fact that I find my self caring when he gets on the mic despite the fact that I know he's coming back to lose. 

Favorite Moment: "Congratulations, Vince...after 647 consecutive run-ins during my matches, you have decided that due to outside interference, in the interest of fairness, it's time to play it safe. Well maybe if you would have had that Socratarian wisdom the night Stephanie was conceived, the world we live in would be a much less slutty place."  

2. Dean Ambrose

Look man...this dude got it. Every time he picks up a mic I expect him to tear it up and he does. His delivery, movements, everything is perfect for him. He's easily the standout of The Shield despite WWE getting behind Reigns. It should be said that I really do like Reigns, but he's not ready...Ambrose is. He's got a bright a future in the WWE provided they don't jack him up.  

Favorite Moment: “There are three things in this world that will survive a nuclear explosion: Twinkies, cockroaches, and Dean Ambrose's”  

1. Paul Heyman

Ladies and Gentlemen...his name is Paul...Heyman and he is the Reigning, Defending KING of this mic work. I've had conversations with friends who said Lesnar was the only one that could handle the heat that came with ending the streak..Lesnar don't have to do anything but look menacing..Paul Heyman is the only one that could handle it, and handle it he did. The work he's done over the last few months has been nothing short of phenomenal from taunting the WWE Universe with the end of the streak to taking John Cena to task with a little verse (A promo i'm still waiting for some internet wizard to put to Nas' Ether Instrumental), Heyman has been amazing on the mic and I will accept NO noise when this man picks up a microphone. 

Favorite Moment: “I pledge allegiance to the greatness of the conqueror who stands before me. And to his dominance for which I stand, one Cenation, under John, now divisible, with no more hustle, loyalty, or respect for all.” 

So that's my list, now this being the internet, I'm sure there's some disagreement with it. You got a list? Drop it in the comments. In the meantime, make sure to follow on twitter @eyesonthering and follow me @peagle05.